Monday, August 20, 2012

Diabolical Mosquito Potion - Part One

Now, I'm not usually one to try what seems like a kooky remedy, especially one passed around on the Internet. Yeah, you can probably guess what the word "usually" foreshadows. Despite what I usually do or do not do, I AM going to try a kooky remedy. Fact is, I just did, and I really hope it works so I can show you some stellar results after a couple of weeks.


Here's the deal. We were minding our business at work when my employer, who is also my friend, received a forwarded email from one of her French friends. It was a recipe for catching mosquitos. She thought I might be interested in trying it. She knows they are after me.

My ears perked up. You see, this topic touches me where I live. Where I live meaning, you know... that couch where I plant my rear and work on my blog in the evenings. Because in the vicinity of that couch, a steady stream of mosquitos also seem to find great joy in tormenting me. We have been having a lot of rain all Summer, which is common in South Florida; water puddles, mosquitos multiply and I am their favorite treat. Don't ever let anyone tell you I'm a sourpuss. It's all in who you ask. The mosquitos find me quite to their liking, thank you. My ankles and arms are evidence. From the looks of the welts, I'm better than candy. 

Like clockwork, around sundown each evening, through some secret gateway to their sinister hideaway, they come for blood. I invariably hear the approaching buzz and I groan, because I know my trials are about to begin. I'm about to be annoyed to within an inch of my precarious sanity, and I am also going to be their dinner. Good thing the mosquitos at my house have not been carrying any fatal diseases, because I often end up with welts galore and anyone nearby who isn't also their target gets an earful. I shake my head wildly to deter them. I flail and shoo and slap and yell at them to leave, but I'm unsuccessful in deterring their quick flitting taunts and bites, or that incessant buzzing. 

A diabolical plan is in order.

I chomped at the chance to bite back, and my friend Kathryn began to read me the French recipe so I could write it down. Stop, whoa, un uh. French measurements in ml's and grams was not going to cut it. I'm American through and through. I need good old fashioned American measurements. Heaven knows I have enough trouble even with those. It took a bit of doing, but she got the general equivalents and rounded to workable measures, hoping that 54/65ths or whatever it was could be rounded to one cup, and so on.

So here's how the preparation went. 

Find a two liter bottle and cut the top off.

Cover the base of the bottle in black fabric or paper. The top that you cut off will be placed inverted into the opening of bottle. Tape it in place on one side and then flip it out of the way until you are ready to pour the mixture in, after which you will flip it back in and tape the other side so it holds. If you don't tape it, the top will fall in. (Sorry, I don't have a pictures of that. Thought I did. Just look at the first picture of the cut bottle. Imagine that top piece placed point down inside (at the top of) the bottle and taped to the side of the bottle so it stays. Best I can tell ya.


Mix together the potion. Best we could figure in American measurements (and I hope we got it right) the recipe called for:

  1. One cup of water
  2. 1/3 cup of brown sugar
  3. 1/2 teaspoon of yeast
Warm the water and add the brown sugar, stirring to dissolve.
Stirring and stirring and stirring my brew...
Oooooh, oooh! 
Ooooooh, oooh!
Tick - tock 
Tick - tock
Tick - tock 
Boo!

Thanks for humoring me. You were humoring me, weren't you? I've always loved that fun little song. We used to sing it (with feeling) as kids and I've not had a a good reason to use it in a very long time.  This brew was a great reason.


Once the sugar has dissolved, cool that mixture.

 Measure out a half a teaspoon of yeast.

When the sugar water is cool, add the yeast, mixing well to dissolve.
Don't you love the way the little granules look falling in the brew? Apparently the combination of these ingredients will create carbon dioxide. So Kathryn tells me. I'm not the scientist here. I'm just doing what I'm told.

Pour this mixture into the bottle.
Flip the top back inside the bottle opening so it is upside down with the pointy part of the top facing down. Tape it in place and set the bottle in a corner in your house.

I have placed mine near where I am routinely bitten, although I wonder if I shouldn't place it so as to catch the mosquitos attention before they get to my own alluring scent. What good will it be if my black magic potion never has a chance to lure the pesky pests because they found me first? Unfortunately, I have no idea from which direction they come for my blood.

Apparently, this mixture will beckon the mosquitos through the small hole to get the tasty treat. Once inside, they will be caught in the building carbon dioxide and be unable to get back out. What do I know. Such science is foreign to me. I'm not sure some sugar mix will beat me out in the hearts of the mosquitos, but I'm willing to give it a try. That unrelenting buzzing in my ears is enough all by itself to drive me to it!

I have a feeling that the image presented in the email of a bottle full of captured mosquitos (which is my hoped - for result) is unlikely to be what I will witness in two weeks. Maybe I'd rather not find that there were THAT many in my house, although I wouldn't doubt it. Maybe the results shown is a scam or they set their bottle up at a mosquito breeding ground outside and adjacent to standing water. I dare say, it was not likely somewhere that a sweetie like myself with fresh warm blood is nearby to compete with it.

I'll be sure to share the results, although I'm not sure I can wait two weeks to look. I'm not gonna lie, I will really, really want to peek. However, I'm pretty good when I offer myself a challenge. I'm competitive like that, even with myself, especially in trivial matters like luring mosquitos to their death. Did I say "trivial"?

Bite my tongue! Or should I say, suck my blood.

I'll have a clue in a couple days if none of the little tyrants has been around to zap me. I'll even be happy with the capture of just one or two of the bad guys. Sometimes I feel like it's the same mosquito who just comes back every night for dinner.

Whichever it is... let the countdown to their demise begin.

I'll be sharing my diabolical recipe (although I don't even know yet if it works, it may not be diabolical at all, but rather just a tastey treat.) at:


24 comments:

  1. Hello Liz, I sure hope that this works for you. Have you ever tried the one about putting dryer sheets in your pockets? That is suppose to keep them away from you. We do not have a mosquito problem here. So that's another cure . . . move to the desert, LOL.

    Welcome to Crafty Home Cottage . . . I am delighted that you choose to follow. Yes, the Dick and Jane books are special. I love reading the old stories and now that my granddaughters are in kindergarten and 1st grade, they can read them to me. What fun will that be! The art work is so nostalgic, got to love that, too.
    Thank you again for following my blog, I truly appreciate it. Have a great day, Connie :)

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  2. Hi Liz . . . not lucky, but blessed. I was 60 years old before I got my first grandchild. You see I was 28 when my daughter was born and she was 32 when she had her first daughter. I had friends with grandchildren in high-school. It was a long wait, but oh so worth it. My two little darlings are so special to me.
    I hope that you are having a lovely day, Connie :)

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  3. Looking forward to seeing if your concoction works. : )

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  4. Great idea! We all need one of these...!!!
    I hope it works fabulously well for you...

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  5. It will soon be mozzie season in Australia, so I might have to give this a go!

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  6. Hi Liz! What a great blog you have - I'm really impressed! Love to see innovative and projects that not everybody does! So great - and thank you so much for your nice comment on my blog. Have a beautiful week!

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  7. OMG- I need this ! I've been eaten alive by those pesky skeeters all summer long! 60 bites on my legs are no fun and all I do is scratch. Now I have scars.... LOL. seriously ... I need all the help I can get. don't know why they like me these days- I used to be the one they never bit.Thanks for stopping by for a visit. :-) Sue

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  8. Thanks for sharing this recipe. We could have used this when I was in Oregon all week. So many of us were bitten to pieces by those pesky critters when we were so innocently picking blackberries. Looking forward to hearing about the results.

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  9. hope it works! I just use a can of off and spray everything on the patio with it.

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  10. Diabolical works for me...what are they thinking. Keep us up to date on it. K.

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  11. Hello,

    thank you so match for your coments.
    Me engels is very bad.I wil read so match bad i dont no hoe?????
    Yes its me cild.
    We had a very very special day!!!!! :O)

    greatings send you Conny

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  12. Hi Liz! You have a real knack for writing! I really like your blog. I'm your newest follower. -Tabitha

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  13. Does it work, does it work I ask helplessly as I sit scratching about 90 bites! I want to sit outside but they keep chasing me in. Help me - fill me in on your finds! If it works, I can finally go out and enjoy the fresh evening air!
    Kelly

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  14. Can't wait to find out how this worked. Thanks for sharing at the All Star Block Party!

    Holly

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  15. And so continues the Human Saga of extermination of the mosquito... I REALLY am interested to know if this works??? AND how long would this recipe be good??? I wonder "WHO" thought of this...Hmmm, if they like blood they should DEFINITELY be attracted to this...Here's one for you! WEAR a dryer sheet! It worked for me while I was gardening. I tucked it into my lapel and DUG ON!!! My son wasn't so sure it worked for him...
    Thank you for the laughs!!!
    Have a fun week,
    Donna

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  16. I love your sense of humor in dealing with these little pests. We have mosquitoes here in New Mexico but they are seasonal,only after a rain which isn't very often. This is very interesting. Can't wait to see how well it works.

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  17. Living one county away from Dallas,Co.Texas... I can tell you Mosquitoes are nothing to be reckoned with.
    I worry about the aerial spraying more though...if you want my opinion.

    I've not tried this recipe...but I have tried a similar one for gnats/ fruit flies...
    Just pour a 1/2 of a beer in a pickle jar with some holes punched through the lid. Put the lid on the jar... vio`la! the gnats check in, but they don't check out.

    in other news... Liz, did you lose the email your posts to my in box feature?
    Cause I'm not catching when you post on your blog, I could have sworn...(if I were to swear...) that I signed up for that.
    I just added that feature myself @ Corn!

    anyway-- take care my friend... and watch out for those Mosquitoes!

    ...they grow 'em big in TEXAS,Pat

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  18. Hi Liz, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
    http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/

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  19. What an excellent idea. I'm looking forward to hearig the results.

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  20. We are now in serious mode about mosquitoes with at least two confirmed cases of West Nile in our small town.Like you the devils are attracted to me. I do use dryer sheets and Hawaiian Tropic dark tanning lotion #4 - they both seem to work on the regular early morning and evening ones, but this time of year we have these gigantic ones in the middle of the day! Yeast is a living thing and does put off CO2 and heat - that must attract them. Wonder if it would work outside somewhere?

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  21. Please let us know it works. West Nile is a big issue here. Crazy mosquito's.

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