Now, I'm not usually one to try what seems like a kooky remedy, especially one passed around on the Internet. Yeah, you can probably guess what the word "usually" foreshadows. Despite what I usually do or do not do, I AM going to try a kooky remedy. Fact is, I just did, and I really hope it works so I can show you some stellar results after a couple of weeks.
Here's the deal. We were minding our business at work when my employer, who is also my friend, received a forwarded email from one of her French friends. It was a recipe for catching mosquitos. She thought I might be interested in trying it. She knows they are after me.
My ears perked up. You see, this topic touches me where I live. Where I live meaning, you know... that couch where I plant my rear and work on my blog in the evenings. Because in the vicinity of that couch, a steady stream of mosquitos also seem to find great joy in tormenting me. We have been having a lot of rain all Summer, which is common in South Florida; water puddles, mosquitos multiply and I am their favorite treat. Don't ever let anyone tell you I'm a sourpuss. It's all in who you ask. The mosquitos find me quite to their liking, thank you. My ankles and arms are evidence. From the looks of the welts, I'm better than candy.
Like clockwork, around sundown each evening, through some secret gateway to their sinister hideaway, they come for blood. I invariably hear the approaching buzz and I groan, because I know my trials are about to begin. I'm about to be annoyed to within an inch of my precarious sanity, and I am also going to be their dinner. Good thing the mosquitos at my house have not been carrying any fatal diseases, because I often end up with welts galore and anyone nearby who isn't also their target gets an earful. I shake my head wildly to deter them. I flail and shoo and slap and yell at them to leave, but I'm unsuccessful in deterring their quick flitting taunts and bites, or that incessant buzzing.
A diabolical plan is in order.
I chomped at the chance to bite back, and my friend Kathryn began to read me the French recipe so I could write it down. Stop, whoa, un uh. French measurements in ml's and grams was not going to cut it. I'm American through and through. I need good old fashioned American measurements. Heaven knows I have enough trouble even with those. It took a bit of doing, but she got the general equivalents and rounded to workable measures, hoping that 54/65ths or whatever it was could be rounded to one cup, and so on.
So here's how the preparation went.
Find a two liter bottle and cut the top off.
Mix together the potion. Best we could figure in American measurements (and I hope we got it right) the recipe called for:
- One cup of water
- 1/3 cup of brown sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon of yeast
Stirring and stirring and stirring my brew...
Tick - tock
Tick - tock
Tick - tock
Thanks for humoring me. You were humoring me, weren't you? I've always loved that fun little song. We used to sing it (with feeling) as kids and I've not had a a good reason to use it in a very long time. This brew was a great reason.
Once the sugar has dissolved, cool that mixture.
When the sugar water is cool, add the yeast, mixing well to dissolve.
Pour this mixture into the bottle.
Apparently, this mixture will beckon the mosquitos through the small hole to get the tasty treat. Once inside, they will be caught in the building carbon dioxide and be unable to get back out. What do I know. Such science is foreign to me. I'm not sure some sugar mix will beat me out in the hearts of the mosquitos, but I'm willing to give it a try. That unrelenting buzzing in my ears is enough all by itself to drive me to it!
I have a feeling that the image presented in the email of a bottle full of captured mosquitos (which is my hoped - for result) is unlikely to be what I will witness in two weeks. Maybe I'd rather not find that there were THAT many in my house, although I wouldn't doubt it. Maybe the results shown is a scam or they set their bottle up at a mosquito breeding ground outside and adjacent to standing water. I dare say, it was not likely somewhere that a sweetie like myself with fresh warm blood is nearby to compete with it.
I'll be sure to share the results, although I'm not sure I can wait two weeks to look. I'm not gonna lie, I will really, really want to peek. However, I'm pretty good when I offer myself a challenge. I'm competitive like that, even with myself, especially in trivial matters like luring mosquitos to their death. Did I say "trivial"?
Bite my tongue! Or should I say, suck my blood.
I'll have a clue in a couple days if none of the little tyrants has been around to zap me. I'll even be happy with the capture of just one or two of the bad guys. Sometimes I feel like it's the same mosquito who just comes back every night for dinner.
Whichever it is... let the countdown to their demise begin.
I'll be sharing my diabolical recipe (although I don't even know yet if it works, it may not be diabolical at all, but rather just a tastey treat.) at: