Junk Crimes and Misdemeanors

Some of you may want to shoot me for what I did yesterday, but you'd have to be a quick draw to beat me to the trigger. Besides, you shouldn't shoot someone who's black and blue from kicking themselves all day and into the next.

Besides I'm confessing and begging forgiveness. You wouldn't shoot someone on their knees begging for mercy, would you?


Let me tell you about it, because I know how much you all love to hear about my ridiculousness. Why am I such a loser when it comes to making decisions, you might ask. Why can't I choose correctly at least half the time? These are questions for the wise among us. Me, I can't figure it out. I do know that it doesn't seem fair that I can't even have 50/50 luck with decisions. I am truly a freak of nature because I defy the odds.

It's apparent to me that I should have a professional junk decision maker at my beck and call, at all hours. I do have my friends, Lynette and Kathryn who, had I called, would may have told me to keep this, but the fact of the matter was, the professional decision makers (the "yes (wo)men") are not so much morning people, necessarily. They may be up for all I know, but I'm out at between 6:00 and 7:00 some mornings, and if I called them every time I had a junk dilemma at that hour, I think I might quickly get my number blocked.

At least I got a picture of it.

Plus the problem was that right after I found this, I had to go somewhere for the day and didn't want to leave this sitting outside, in case of rain. Didn't want to bring it in because it was dirty and heaven knows, it's hard to get such things out once they find their way in, and the family would have had a cow about another item in the walkways. I couldn't bear the recrimination. So, the painful fact is, I made a rash decision to let this go right after I got it.

Curses!

At least I didn't just let it get it away. Do I get points for that or does that just drive my stupidity home further. I drove by this again and again to decide whether to even pick it up, and got it on the third go round (that's another of my curses - the thrice picking of piles). I managed to finagle it into the car and then back out at home, drug it around to the back patio in a rush and immediately wondered when I would have time to figure out what to do about cleaning this chair. It wasn't too bad at all, but it needed an heavy duty steamer used on it and I couldn't imagine when I'd get around to finding one, and where, by the way, would I store this until then? Being as it was fabric, it couldn't stay outside. But oh, wasn't the tufting so cute? I quickly considered whether or not I could chop that part off and save it for something, but I was dripping with sweat (even though I'd just had a shower) and I was late. I had a long drive ahead of me. I was not in my right mind. I was in my usual mind, yes, but that does not make it right. Oh, why oh, why, did I have to rush headlong into a stupid decision?! Three of the wheels for the feet were gone, so it was lopsided, and seeing it on my back patio where I have many things piled up awkwardly somehow made the chair suddenly felt like a burden. I ran back out front, sweaty and my hair frizzing in the humidity and checked to see the distance between me and the trash truck.

He was on the next block and making his way to my block. A very quick decision had to be made. Now mind you, this is the fallback when getting junk. You get it knowing you can always throw it away when you get home. So I've been trying to train myself to grab things while I can and toss them later, but it's easy to get attached, you know. And the problem is, we only have bulk pick up once a week. If I hadn't gotten it to the road pronto, it would have had to wait on the back patio another week. That wasn't going to do.

Oh, how I wish I had missed the trash man now. I'm really beating myself up for letting it go. It's not my style as far as the caning, but the tufting is adorable and it's a padded chair. The fabric was fine, just dirty. Oh woe! I chose poorly, so poorly. I'm sick to my stomach about it because I thought I was doing good to think fast and run it to the curb. The truck had just pulled up across the street as I ran back, grabbed it and ran it down the side yard and across the grass to the road. The guy saw that I was running to get it out and smiled and went ahead and came over and picked it up to carry it to the pile over there so the claw could get everything at once and he wouldn't have to back up and drive the truck back over to my side.

Bye, bye little sweetie. I'll never know ya!

And I see now that it could have been an adorable companion to the sewing cabinet I found yesterday on the side of the road as well. [Kick, punch, dagger to the gut!]


More on that slapstick adventure later.

One of the reasons I quickly decided quickly to get rid of the chair was because it seemed too short for a side table to sit next to it without looking awkward, and random chairs are fine if you have a side table, desk or something to pair them with them. It now appears it may have been perfect for the sewing cabinet with some wheels added back on to the feet. That just adds insult to injury. Oh, no! I just remembered this:

I got this for $2 a few weeks back. It's short. Perfect for that chair in fact! Oh, if I only had time to show you all I've been up to, you might understand how I could make a horrible rash decision and to not be able to remember all I have and what would go with what.

Okay, now I'm just wallowing and maybe I'm looking for pity to keep you from wanting to strangle me for being so dumb. "Doom, despair and agony on me...deep dark depression, excessive misery... (woe...)" 

In reality, I should probably be locked up for junk crimes. It's a cryin' shame.

Okay. Take aim. I deserve it.