Lady of the House Productions Presents...

Liz Against the House - a video trailer about my adventure in house painting preparation. What? Doesn't everyone make movie trailers about such things? Well, if you enjoy watching others work, stick around til the end of the post...

The house had nearly beaten me. For three months, prep work to paint this aging little bungalow we call home had been ongoing. My son was home for a few months and together we busted our butts to pressure clean, scrape, sand and prime our vintage bundle of love, day after exhausting day.

He wielded the pressure cleaner.

This part was my job. Not sure which is worse, pressure cleaning or cleaning up after it.

Then my son had to leave. :( Now mind you, we had worked on this knuckle buster (literally) almost every day for all those months. Tedious and brutal. We scraped all the soffits and wood surround the house. 56 years of paint layers were in need of our tireless efforts. We obliged.

Then somewhere around the 3 month mark, I lost the will to scrape. I lost the will to sand. I lost the will to clean, caulk and prime. I wanted to look at pretty pictures on the internet and do fun projects with a much quicker payoff and a more satisfying outcome. Rather than just tear down and put back what I already had, and which, if I had my way, once done, should never have to be bothered with again, I wanted to create something new and fun and quicker.

After Cael left, and the temperature rose steadily (doesn't make for good scraping and sanding), life got in the way and I found every reason not to go out and finish the last big section of this prep work.

There may have been a little of this going on...

and this...

...until yesterday, that is. I don't know what it was, but suddenly, IT was back from wherever IT had taken a hiatus to for the past month. IT is My Mojo and it came bounding in the front door ready to work and drug me straight outside to open the garage door (For some reason, opening the garage door, maneuvering the ladder out and hauling everything around to the backyard is the hardest part of the project). Yet, just like that my "will" to sand and scrape was back. I was gonna get this thing off my list once and for all!

So I thought it would be fun to make a "quick" (yeah, right) video to satisfy my craving for a little creative fun and so that I might have something to show for my day's sweat and filth and achey muscles. After exerting the bulk of my muscle (stop laughing!),  there wasn't time to paint the primer onto that section of the soffit because the caulk had to dry. Unfortunately that part, which I did today, is not recorded in the adventurous movie trailer you are about to witness.

Just hold on...it's coming!

So I took my little camera out with me (it has video) and I set it without any thought to what I'd do with the footage, and I turned it on a minute or so at a time, kind of haphazard and, sorry about that, but without much care. I placed it in hanging planters, on the ground, on the ladder shelf, held it and did whatever I could think of to get a few shots. I found out today when I went to edit it that I needed certain shots I didn't have, but oh, well, next time I'll plan ahead. What's done is done. Before I started, I took a "before" photo of myself because I knew how I would look "after"... I did this to remember, lest I forget, why it is I may have lost the will in the first place.

I slathered on the Coppertone and I was ready to head out. (The added benefit of this work is that you do work up a decent tan.) Oh, happy day. See how happy I am. Yes, indeed, happy, happy, happy to get out there and sand above my head while standing on a ladder...and being covered with paint dust and other particles...what some of it is, I am not sure and I do not want to think about it, thank you.

I really had to offer a "before" because the "during" and "after" are embarrassingly unflattering to say the least. You'll see.

Having no experience at the photo in the mirror shots, I chopped myself off and couldn't get focused.

Tried numerous times, gave it another shot, nothing worked. (oh, whatever!)... 

...then I gave up and went out because I had a lot of agonizing work to do. Oh well, who cares and anyway, "soft focus" is actually a valuable commodity after a certain age. You get the idea. There I am and it only gets worse.

Please note, I had to go up and down the ladder every few minutes for 4 hours for one reason or another AND YET I STILL do NOT have buns of steel (not even thighs of steel.) What a rip off! I have been working my arms until they ache for months and yet I STILL have FLAB WINGS too...the kind my kids walk by and flick so they can watch them swing. It's hopeless. 

So, I ask you...How can this injustice go on despite my gung-ho efforts and my achey, exhaustive and determined work ethic? I still have cellulite and granny arms! I think that once you stumble over the "50 milestone" (after all, it is one rather large rock), you might expect that first you will hear a rather loud thud as you fall to the earth from whatever lofty place you may have once enjoyed in your youthful former glory, if such a glory actually ever existed (I'm finding whatever you were unhappy with during youth becomes something you only dream of having later and wish you would have appreciated while you had it. Enjoy it while you have it ladies!) Now the muscle groups have given up. Early retirement, I guess. They must have their job confused with government work. (oops, did I just say that?)

For the record, along the way, during my trek up and down the ladder, and with a killer neck ache, a sore arm, back and legs... I sat down because I had to rest, and I offered myself a treat. That's how it works around here. (and maybe it has a little something to do with the lack of buns and thighs of steel.)

Sorry, I didn't think to photograph it until after I sat down outside on the step in the afternoon heat and was already eating it. Not a very nice presentation. This is the hot fudge sauce I made the other day, and boy is it good. I'll try and post the recipe this weekend.

Here are the tools needed for the job, minus the ladder and the rag. 

The bowl, spoon and its previous contents were absolutely vital to the job.

After I had sanded all my flabby arms and tender neck could stand, I caulked.

While sitting and enjoying my ice cream and hot fudge, I pondered the view looking across the back yard from the South side of the house where I was working.

Oh, and how did I look afterwards? Well...perfectly lovely, as you can imagine.

See why I showed you the "before"? I couldn't show my teeth because my face was so white it made my teeth look yellow.

Nice, huh? Can you believe I am showing you this? Have I no shame? Apparently not.

This was the skin on my chest.  I shudder to think what all that actually is.

I still have no real before and after shot of what I was working on. It's just not very eye-grabbing or exciting. It's hard core maintenance. Well here, I have bits and pieces.

I have this from the front of the house:

Oh, and in order to have a somewhat finished product to show, here is a section of the soffit with the primer on it. This I painted today... I know... you want to run right out and try this project yourself, don't you.

I know what you're saying...

You are probably "Oooohing and ahhhhhing", right? You are so impressed and inspired. I just know it. 

Wait... What?! You're not? This doesn't do it for you?

Well, listen kids, sometimes you don't get eye candy. Sometimes you have to eat your broccoli, despite the fact that it stinks to high heavens and really doesn't taste good. So it goes, and so I will continue doing this "broccoli" job, although you can count on me to sneak some fun and more visually pleasing projects in here and there. With this awful section of a terrible job I didn't want to do behind me, I feel justified in getting back to a few creative projects the rest of the weekend.

Okay, enough rambling on and on...

"The Lady of the House" Productions is proud to present 

("proud" might be a tad overstated) 

the trailer for the epic adventure:

Liz Against the House 

(you know, meaning something like Liz Against the World) for it has actually been a battle in many, many respects.

 This is a 

"Just For The Fun of It" Film

If you enjoy watching someone else work, here you go, all condensed and under a minute. Yep, that's all there is to it. Doesn't do the 4 hours justice, but so be it. It is just a hint of the action and adventure that is my house painting project. Enjoy.

Gosh, you know what...maybe I should use music like that while I work next time. Might inspire me to epic things.

Until next time... eat your broccoli, but don't forget to enjoy a little ice cream too!

I'll be at

Redoux's What Have You Done Party

Functional Friday Link Party

Show and Share Friday at Southern Lovely

Swing Into Spring at DIY by Design

Naturally Nifty Party at Natural-Nester

Share the Love Wednesday

Our Delightful Home's Show Me What You Got party

The Blackberry Vine's Tuesday To Do party

Coastal Charm's Nifty Thrifty Tuesday

Made by You Mondays at Skip to My Lou

Mop it Up Mondays at I Should be Mopping the Floor

Twigg Studios Sunday Show Off

Manic Monday at Serendipity & Spice

Debbiedoos' Newbie Party

Get Schooled Saturday at Too Much Time

Hodgepodge Friday at It's a Hodgepodge Life

Spotlight Saturday at Classy Clutter

Homemaker in Heels Weekend Craft Soiree

The Open House Party at No Minimalist Here

At the Picket Fence's Inspiration Friday

  Funky Junk Interiors' Saturday Night Special

Made in a Day's Made You Look Party

Serenity You's Serenity Saturday

Rooted in Thyme's Sweet and Simple Friday party
Common Ground Vintage Inspiration Link Party
The Charm of Home's Home Sweet Home Party

There Are Good Intentions, And Then There's Reality

I got up with every intention of beginning the sanding of the last leg of soffit work, the part on the back side of the house. (Last leg, yes, but then there is still an "ankle and a "foot" over on the West side of the back room above the awning left to do. I'm seriously considering pretending that part doesn't exist and just moving on.)

Cael and I kicked butt on this house prepping and painting project nearly every day for 3 months.

I forgot to put something down before he started pressure cleaning. Although, I found that moving sheets around as he worked and dumping the junk into a pile was not much better than cleaning up the mess. It was still everywhere, and it was nearly impossible to keep the stuff landing where it should.

It was cold out too! Cold and wet is no fun.

Glad that's done.

After that we went ahead and primed the walls, asap, for the sake of the neighbors, knowing it would be a while before we'd be anywhere near ready to paint. It looked horrendous. Then we began the scraping and sanding of the wood areas, the trim, soffits and fascia. 

This was our glory section. I mean doing it stunk on ice, but we got ALL the layers of paint off and let me tell you it was not fast, and it was brutal work and took many, many days. But we were pretty proud of this part because it was quite a feat.

There was the little problem of the chunk of rotten wood that disintegrated as Cael scraped there. The hole remains. We never got to figuring out how to fix it before he left because we had so much other scraping, sanding, etc. to do that we couldn't shift gears. I stuck something in there to prevent lizards and other unthinkable creatures from slithering, scampering or crawling in, and the method I used is a serious rig job. Embarrassing. I wonder if it will ever get fixed. Rather I doubt it will ever get fixed.

Then when Cael left for CA, I lost the will to scrape or anything remotely required for this job. After three months of doing nothing else, I had to rest from my labors. I have only worked on it for two days in the month since he's been gone. For shame! Although, I do claim a legitimate excuse, for the few days I was sick (I mean truly sick, not pretend-because-I-don't-want-to-do-gruelling-work-sick). Although, that's valid too.

Here is my challenge today. This job has to be done either before the sun gets cooking or late in the afternoon when the shadows start to fall back there. This side of the house faces the sun all day and a person (read: me) would have to work up a good deal of mojo to begin.

It has been scraped.

Now it must be sanded, wiped down, caulked and primed. Sigh. It's so hard. [Yes, I'm whining.] It's such dirty, sweaty, achey work. Not exactly rewarding either. No one wants to come over and admire the soffits you've been scraping. They also have the nerve to say things like, you're still working on that? Why does it take so long? 

It's a wonder I carry on.

So I took pictures of flowers and shells and stuff instead.

That makes sense, doesn't it? 

For the record, I did start the first load of laundry, did dishes, made Casey breakfast, cleaned it up and cleaned out the fridge and took out the trash...and picked up junk scattered about. 

So after months of hanging the laundry all over my back patio on old ladders and awning poles and patio furniture (the dryer broke and I'm too cheap to get a new one), I finally tied a piece of rope across and underneath one of my awnings. Brilliant, I am! We started having rainy laundry days for a while and I had to have some cover.

Why did I take pictures of clothespins? Um, frankly it's unexplainable. I guess I find them oddly intriguing. Probably because they remind me of being a kid on Honeysuckle Avenue. We didn't a have a dryer back in the 1960's either. Laundry on clotheslines and the practical genius of clothespins was a part of everyday life that makes for the stuff of nostalgia now all these years later.

My neighbor has every right to wonder about me though. I can be seen out there at all hours aiming my camera at any-and-every-thing. 

When I went in to pull the wet clothes out of the washer (thank goodness it works!) the lovely sound of coinage hitting the floor chimed in my ears. A dime had fallen out of someone's pocket, and I yelled to Casey that I had found a dime and was keeping it. I continued to tell her that laundry rules state that any money which falls out of pockets is the property of the one who does the laundry, and that if any more money fell out, it was mine too. She was like, "What?! That's not right." "Oh, yeah!" I said. Everyone knows this; it's a universal rule." She was indignant, saying if it was in HER pocket, it was HERS. Oh, contraire, I politely rebuffed. I proceeded to state that if it fell out of the pockets on my laundry watch, it was legally mine. 

"Wait!" I had $5.00 in my pocket," she said. You can't have that. I got it as tip money last night." I shook my head, respectfully and matter of factly, of course, and told her if it fell out, I was keeping it. We squabbled back and forth about this and I went out and started shaking all the clothes around which is a necessity, not an attempt to lure $5 dollar bills out. Lint is kind of a problem when you don't have a dryer. So is crispiness. So you have to shake it out. As I flung a pair of her black pants around, yes siree, I hit the jackpot! Out flew a neatly folded bill. I started whooping it up and yelling how I was rich and had struck pay dirt. "Too bad," I taunted. "It's the law." 

Casey did not believe I was really serious or that I would keep her money, however, I provided the evidence of my find, and as I unfolded it to wave it around in jubilation, it was a measly $1.00 bill. Bummer, I thought I had a five. I handed the wet bill over for her to inspect, and let her consider the rights of those who do the work in the house. I was gonna let her have it; I wanted a $5.00, and I figured there was still a chance for a windfall. Sadly that didn't pan out. However, after I hung all the clothes out, and came back inside, she told me I could have the dollar. 

She understood the sanctity of laundry law, after all. These are hard truths that kids must learn, and I was not above snatching up that dollar, after all, as I reminded her, I would no doubt end up spending it on her anyway. She concurred, and I went out to hang it on the line to dry with the rest of the laundry. 

Money laundering.

I took my camera and was out there longer than I should have been. She came out and I could feel her behind me staring. I turned to see a very curious look on her face. Why on earth was I out standing on a chair taking pictures of clothespins and the very clean dollar bill hanging on the line, she wanted to know. 

[I sigh and shake my head.] Casey and my neighbors have so much to learn. 

Me, I have so much to do...because when you take a zillion photos of flowers, clothespins and money hanging on a line, you have to also upload and decide which to keep and throw away, and then, if you are a serious procrastinator of projects, you write about it. Which I am. Which I did. 

Meanwhile, the sanding hour has long since past. Another load of laundry has been washed, the first one folded, the second, hung. 

The lawn has yet to be mowed (That was also today's must-do because I didn't do it last week), the grunge on the floors must be vacuumed (also not done last week) and we've got to eat! I'm in the mood for neither, much less spending the evening hour standing on a ladder holding a sander over my head and giving it all I've got as paint dust and chips rain down on me in the sweltering heat. 

If I end up out there, I will also be clad in reading glasses with safety goggles over top. I will be a sight to behold. Hopefully no one will... behold me, that is. At least there will be no photos. Casey and the neighbors don't do that sort of thing. Hallelujah for that!

All I can say is, does anyone know where I can get a manservant about this time of day? I need just a little more time to smell the roses.

I'll be at The Charm of Home 

and My Romantic Home for Show and Tell Friday. 

Stop by and join the parties!