Saturday, March 11, 2006

Unspent Riches

I see that I haven't posted since Christmas, a fact I was aware of, but one which now that I really think about it is a striking indicator of the freakishly rapid passage of time. Perhaps if I write, the time will somehow miraculously hit slow motion. It's mid-March and I haven't written so much as a word anywhere since January, except for daily e-mails. But that's not what's really amazing. Really amazing is the discovery I made this morning as Cally was about to leave for her job at Chick-Fil-A. Upon finding out that she gets off at 5:00, I asked her if perhaps this might be one of the lucky days when she would bring me home a Coke (for those who don't know, Coke is the equivilent to me that candy is to a little kid. Okay and to myself as well). I always thought as a teen that I would know I was rich when I could have Coke anytime I wanted, being as at the time, Coke was a precious commodity. It's still precious today. More precious being Coke in a styrafoam cup with a lid and straw, the best being a Chick-Fil-A cup. So I mustered up my courage (one must always have courage when asking Cally the hard questions) and asked if today she might lavish her love upon me and bring me home a Coke. It is a rare thing indeed for her to do so. I have probably, in 9 months of her employment there, been brought one or two Cokes. I told her I would pay her back when she got home. And here's the amazing discovery part. She just says, "You don't have to pay me... I get drinks for free." [Pause] [eyes shift] [mind whirls] [crazed look] I was standing in my mismatched flannel jammies with my slippers on at the open front door holding my hands to my head in disbelief at both my newly discovered luck and my newly discovered misfortune. This frenzied realization caused me to say, with the demeanor and tone of a madman..., "What!? All this time you could have been bringing me free Coke and you haven't?" It was like discovering one has been living like a Lake Park resident when they had a home they didn't know about on the ocean in Palm Beach or something. I was dumbstruck at the thought of all the free Coke gone to waste. I was rich and the riches had gone unspent. Cally just shook her head in her authoritative way and told me it was not in my best interest to drink Coke. Period. (Cally has always known what is best for those of us in this household, and out of it for that matter.) She fears I have done permanent damage to myself with excessive Coke drinking as it is and has no intention of contributing further to my eventual Coke-induced demise. She takes a Human Physiology class and knows stuff now. I assured her that I hardly ever have Coke (after all I didn't know I was rich) and that I normally have no more than one a week (with only occasional binge drinking), sometimes I have two Cokes a week. She assured me this is all I am allowed and that according to her teacher, one a week is the maximum allowable while maintaining good health. Cally likes to flaunt the ever present dangers of Coke to my insides, the potential weakening of my bones from it, and the horrors of the sugar count. She usually doesn't bother mentioning my Jeckyl and Hyde reaction to the substance, as this is an obviously well-known fact in our household. She reserves that argument for special occasions. So I can't say whether at the end of the day she will deem me the recipient of a Coke in a Chick-Fil-A styrafoam cup or not, but yesterday a great fate befell me (or what she would certainly consider my misfortune), I found an unopened can of Coke in the frige that I didn't know was there. The excitement at this discovery was like Christmas morning as a kid. I have been savoring the thought of it ever since and planning the most opportune moment of my day in which to enjoy it. Now, it doesn't compare to the excitement of a Coke in a Chick-Fil-A cup brought home at the loving hand of my benefactor, but so you know, I always save my Chick-Fil-A cups and reuse them for as long as possible. I have one right now that I have had for over a week. I kept my last one for three weeks, a fact which disgusts Cally. Hey, I wash it like any other cup. It makes every drink a treat. These are the simple joys. Now if I can just figure out how to get Cally to access our "bank account full of riches" and bring me free Coke everytime she works.