God is bigger than that

Me and my grad

As Tommy said this morning in his message, "God is bigger than that!" At the beginning of this school year we faced a "mission impossible" in many ways.
After a lot of work and the kind of prayer than only comes from heartache and during tough times, we are able to celebrate a graduation and a whole school year full of incredible things I could have only dreamed of and prayed for at the start. So congratulations Cael and thanks to everyone who encouraged him and prayed for us along the way!

Home in his own bed

They're safely back and exhausted, and only the stories remain to be told. We heard some on the way home, but I had way too many questions, and Cael was so tired and says he never wants to ride in a car or bus again for a long time after all the long bus rides they took in their travels. They had a turbulent flight on the way home and from Cael's telling, everyone screamed when the plane dropped 1000 feet. He didn't journal (he forgot he says), he took only two rolls of film (says he didn't realize he had four disposable cameras) but he says they saw the most beautiful sights (he loved Italy), he spent some time on an incredible mountaintop past the clouds, in the snow (and apparently it began snowing really hard while up they were up there) with very impractical clothing and we got to hear stories of some of the guys late night pranks and how the money situtation went. So if I can catch him for long enough to hear the stories before he forgets amid all that is going on today through graduation and the parties of the weekend, I will pass on all that I am permitted to along with some photos. The guys all grew little scraggly chin beards like shaggy but they will have to shave this morning for their awards ceremony and for graduation. Ah, what an experience.

And They're Off

The adventure begins at Palm Beach International Airport this morning at 10:00.

It looks like Cael is about to board a Spirit plane. Ha! They really flew delta, but upon our arrival and seeing the names of all the airlines on the signs in the drive up to the terminal, Cael remarked something to the effect of how glad he was that he didn't have fly on an airline with a name like Spirit. Funny that he appears here to be doing just that.


Cael gets ticketed and through the line early.






It was a hub of activity at the terminal this morning. Almost 90 students packed and ready for the time of their life in Europe for 10 days.



Lots of friends and fun.

The plane should have taken off by now. The kids are on their way to their first European stop in Germany via New York. Quite a layover there in New York and then a very long flight again after that until they reach Frankfurt. All the hard work of prepping for the journey is over. I can't believe they are finally on their way. What an adenture lies ahead. Makes me want to get on a plane and go somewhere.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

The Junior/Senior Banquet has come and gone. Here is a little recap of our photo shoot beforehand. There's much more, but we'll keep it to this for now.


I wanted more moment shots like this, but it didn't happen. I was really lucky to get this one.


The work of the one, the only, the talented...Elyse. You have no idea what a hit this hair was!


Don't see this everyday!


The ladies of the group.


The gentlemen.

And that's all I have time for at the moment, as now that the banquet is over with, we have moved on to getting Cael ready for the trip to Europe. There's always something to occupy our time. And one of these days I will get started on those graduation videos. Really.

Time to change the logo

Here’s a tip: If you wash the grungy film of dirt and build up off of your windows, the whole world becomes bright and green surprisingly, even on a late, gray, rainy afternoon like today. The grass outside has that electric look that comes in the evening. (I love my grass.) With the blinds open and pulled up, and with the windows wiped to perfection, I can see all the wonders of the great outdoors incredibly clearly, but unfortunately the extra light shines a spotlight on the dust collecting like a light snow build up on my furniture. And the spots on the carpet, why they seem more numerous than ever. Hmmm... maybe clean windows have something to teach me.

The window repair man just left a bit ago. Otherwise, why would I be cleaning my windows, right? Once I was able to close the window, I was thrilled to be able to wipe the thick grime off and see again. Oh and I just wanted to let you all know I have decided to take up a new vocation... I am going to repair window cranks on old Florida windows for a living from this day forth. That’s right, I just decided. Can you picture me with my drill in hand, my can of alumi-whateveritwas and maybe a tool belt for effect, oh and maybe some work boots just in case. Now remember when I repaired my own windows before, how it was with much struggle and short-lived results, well, come to find out from my repair guy, the people at the hardware store had supplied me with the wrong crank. No wonder the windows wouldn’t close and the job was nearly impossible! Well, now that I know I was wonder woman and the job could have been a piece of cake with my skills and the right parts, I’m gonna be rich.

So the repair man removed the old (wrong crank) and replaced it with a correct new one. I watched the process, taking sharp mental notes so I could make sure my technique is on target for the other one that has the wrong crank and can’t be opened without breaking. His visit lasted a mere half an hour and I am now $99.82 lighter in the checkbook. I don’t intend to pay another $99.82 for the other window. I will do it myself now that I know the name of the correct part: It’s the Miami somethingorother. Ok, I don’t exactly remember the name of the part because mental notes, even sharp ones, aren’t written in indelible ink. But I remember that it was two words and the first was Miami. It’ll come to me. I am sure of it. The part, which he told me I could purchase for about $12, cost me $28 today, and his time cost me something like $71. Add tax, and waalaaa, a huge bill for a little work, which is exactly why I had cellophane covering my windows for about 5 months. Yes, it was five months, OK?! (At least five months.) Well, now that I know that I was doing everything right but with the wrong part, I too can begin raking in $140 an hour instead of the pittance I bring in right now slaving over videos for hours on end, stressing and obsessing for little cash. Forget that, from this day on I present myself, Liz, window repair chick. Let some sucker pay me $99.82 for a half an hour. Ah, but, only call with broken window cranks exactly like mine. Otherwise, we might have a little problem and projected profit margins may decrease slightly. But if all goes well, I may need to change my logo from my imageremix flower to something new to reflect my new calling. Perhaps something reminiscent of a female Barney Fife with a tool belt instead of a holster.

Now if I could just figure out the physics of washing machine drainage. See, what good is a new washer if the drain tube overflows at the beginning of every rinse cycle. I never had that problem before. It only happens at the beginning of the first spin and is the very worst at the beginning of the second spin. The water can’t drain fast enough to avoid running over and under the washer and across the floor til I stop and start the washer a zillion times till the force recedes. Someone with physics sense please respond and give me a clue. I have tried holding the hose higher, crimping it, pushing it in farther, all to no avail. Is there any hope? I can’t stand at the washer forever waiting for two rinse cycles per load. I was up until 12:15 doing that the other night. Heaven knows I want to be rid of my rig queen title and have things that just work for a change. Somebody? Anybody? Is there hope, can you help?

As my world turns

You’ve been sensing the sewer work drama, eh? Well, here’s an update if you’re one to follow the soaps. After I freaked about the yard the other day when the sewer workers had driven the bobcat way into my yard back and forth and after watching them place all their stuff and huge pipes as far into my yard as the orange tree, I couldn’t take it for one more second. I had to go out and ask them not to do it anymore or I was going to combust. I approached the guy with the shovel and asked if he spoke English. He shook his head and pointed me to the “English speaker”, who after I voiced my grass concerns to him in a very kind but lengthy speech, looked at me with a blank stare and said, “I speak little english only.” Agh! I asked if there might possibly be an english speaking worker out there somewhere and he told me the guy was coming, that he was down the block a ways. I waited and waited and he finally came after stopping to talk to the guys and talk on his phone, and wash his shoes off. I told the guy about how the junk was creeping further and further into my yard and that they were driving the bobcat around my yard and I told him about the special palmetto sod I had just recently had laid, and he assured me they would replace my yard with whatever kind of sod I wanted. I explained to him that I didn’t want to replace my sod because of the difficulty starting new sod, all the water and time required. So he yelled over to the spanish speaking bob cat driver nicely asking him to stay off the grass. Since then, they trashed my phone line and I was without phone for about a day and a half. I have removed their belongings and pipes from my grass three times now after they’ve left. Right now a guy is out there raking up the grass all the way up to the grapefruit tree that they trashed. They seem to be onto the smoothing-out-dirt-process right now. I don’t look forward to reliving the new sod experience. I just did that. I was so hoping to be done with such effort for a while. This experience has taken a toll on me.

Judy, feel my pain. Here is a before picture...


And here is some of what has been going on during this “ode to hypertension.” These were taken from video I shot this morning, so the quality isn’t too great. I had removed all the junk from across the yard the night before so that isn’t available for view. But right now I can see by looking out the kitchen window, I have two more 15 foot pipes to roll into the dirt again tonight after they leave.



These roots are from the back side of my tree. I have a feeling it won't last very much longer without all those. It's leaning heavily already. And it's suddenly dropping leaves like mad.

Serenity now!

Mayday!

I know this is my second post in one day but... Mayday! Mayday! Loud cracking sound as back hoe flings its arm around to dump the dirt out next to my avocado tree. Limb down! I repeat, limb down! My swing branch is in jeopardy. I’m not sure which is worse, watching the men sit and talk in the trench for an hour at a time every half hour, or the panic I feel when I see the heavy equipment operator get up and make motions to head back to the back hoe. I can’t take much more. I’m in a sweat and there’s so much dirt out there piled so close to the house I can’t open the windows or it’ll all blow in. Their pipes and equipment are scattered further and further up into my back yard, the dirt piles are about 10 feet into my grass and if you don’t hear from me for a while, have someone check to make sure I’m not laying in heap by the kitchen window collapsed from the stress and bearing screen marks on my cheeks from trying to get a good look at the turmoil. Can’t take much more. And who the heck do these guys think they are swinging their big butts on my sweet little swing. They better not make me come out there! That thing can barely hold a kid’s weight without the rope part pulling through the holes in the wood and these guys are swinging with glee like kids on a swingset seeing who can get the highest, and having a hey ole time at it. And I can’t get over the fact that they are ruining all my grass in the shade. The grass I have is a special kind of St. Augustine intended for the shade and when they replace it I can guarantee they will put regular sod there and I will begin my fight to keep the grass alive all over again. Gotta run, I hear them taking another short break from their swing and tea time to do some more destruction of my yard and my soul. (never mind, they are still sitting in the shade relaxing, must be union rules or something). Gotta keep my eyes out so if need be I can call Seacoast and vent to someone who understands English. Very frustrating this whole process. Yes, I love having a sewage system that runs freely, but I value my sanity and the regular and steady beat of my heart as well. I say it’s time to get this job done and put me out of my misery. I’m begging, here.

Sunday Afternoon Vacation

There are a few things in life I find myself amazed by time and again through the years and yet somehow I don’t learn the lesson of that amazement in a “for keeps” kind of way. One such amazement would be the beauty that is the beach and why I don’t go more often. Once in a while when I finally find myself there, I swear it will be my new hangout. Then about a year later I find myself saying the same thing once again when I happen there out of some oddity again. What is that?

Today I stumbled upon another such place.

After church and lunch at the new church property, Lynette and Lynn and I went to the convention center in West Palm for a “women’s something or other.” It had a title but I can’t remember for the life of me what it was called. Cally met us there and we wandered the booths and watched a fashion show and sampled a few things. Cally got asked if she was interested in being a model (she wasn’t).We kept leaving Lynette behind because she shopped the jewelry and purse counters for way too long at a time; we were really just there for the free stuff. It wasn’t all we’d hoped it would be, (we’d hoped for free facials, pedicures, manicures, etc) but we got our tickets for nothing so who’s complaining. However, we were ready to leave within about an hour of wandering and signing up to win things. Upon our departure we saw some interesting looking homes rising above a wall that stood as a barrier between the Convention Center parking lot and the neighborhood to the south. It was obvious they were renovated homes as that neighborhood used to be pretty slummy. The neighborhood had the somewhat upscale look of old homes transformed. We decided to drive around and see how cute and charming they were and all the cool details you only find on the older homes in south Florida. We started seeing “For Sale” signs here and there and wondered what the asking prices were getting to be in this area. We rounded a corner and came upon an open house in progress. Lynette said we had to go in. So we did deeming her our official spokesperson. On the outside, the house was maintained although not at all that charming or attractive in color or style. The house we had seen a few blocks over oozed charm and this one looked ordinary. But upon entering it, we were amazed at the decorating and all they had done to transform it. It was really interesting inside. It was only a 2/1, somewhere around 1150 sq. ft. and they were asking $449,000. I couldn’t believe it. It was a corner lot and the only yard it had was in the front, and a huge park was situated across the street to the side of it. But it wasn’t a particularly pretty park. There were about 30 guys playing soccer when we were there. Not exactly private feeling as a fairly good sized window looked out on it. $449,000! I couldn’t believe it. Judy, it had nothing on your house except some lavish decorating. There was plenty of not-so-nice ambiance nearby and yet somehow they are commanding (or at least trying to command) those prices in that area.

Geez, my neighborhood is way more private and has huge yards, why can’t Lake Park get on the updo track and become a Flamingo Park or a whatever the other names of those areas were? It has so much more potential for revitalization. I would seriously like to revitalize my house. I have so many good ideas. My neighbor in the big house across the street and over is planning to refab his house. Maybe we could get the trend going here. One day this area will be like an Old Northwood or Flamingo Park, you wait and see, and then the prices will really hike. I couldn’t believe how those homes in West Palm had no land and I was just amazed at prices that reflect what you would pay in PGA National with a pool and all the land and upscale style. Really wierd how this market goes.

Anyway, from there we took Cally to her car and decided to get out at City Place, walk around and get a drink and then sit and enjoy the day. And it was such a day! The sky was Santa Fe blue like you wouldn’t have believed and made an intense backdrop for the palm trees when I looked up. The air was low 70’s, felt like high 60’s because yesterday it was as hot as summer here rendering anything under 85 as quite cool. The breeze was blowing, the fountains were splashing and they did that thing every half an hour where the fountains shoot up in time with the music. It was a gorgeous Florida Sunday and City Place is really beautiful with all the steps and the old Harriet Himmel building and the stones and the fountains and the colors and the people everywhere to watch. I don’t know why I don’t go more often and buy a coke, sit at a wrought iron table and enjoy the view. It was really like an afternoon vacation with the mood music playing at Bellagios. Didn’t cost me a thing because Lynn bought the coke since I drove. Wasn’t that nice? Lynette bought Cally a cd she had been talking about all afternoon before she left. Lynette went in Starbucks for iced coffee and there was the CD for sale, so she got it for Cally. What a nice surprise that will be. It was like a rich day in paradise and it was free. That’s beauty in and of itself. Maybe next week I’ll land myself on the sand at the beach and take another Sunday afternoon vacation. Life is short and who knows how long before someone starts charging for a day at the beach. I’m not taking any chances ever since I heard they plan to start making you pay to park at City Place. As of today, though, I happily report that parking is still free. Free, I love that word.

Bragging Rights

7:20 and the engine revs. The heavy clunking resumes. The lavender leviathan is inching it’s way to my corner of the world and I will be in a panic for most of the day, of that I am sure. I’m not sure, however, when I will have a steady, even heartbeat again. Probably not until they are well past my tree. They seem determined to get on with the process now, finally. They are so close I can feel the reverb from the backhoe clawing the earth. My nerves are shot. I have to go and purchase a washer today too, and the responsibility for making a good choice is almost too much for me. Decisions aren’t my strong suit. But I must get that done, and while I am out, I’m pretty sure the excavation crew will cross the border into my yard. I hope I make it back in time to keep an eye on my tree. I honestly don’t know how they will be able to do all they’ve been doing in the other yards without ramming that huge backhoe into my tree a few times.

My accomplishments are many recently. Let me brag. I am making progress on Cael’s graduation announcements. We took a photo the other day and I got them back yesterday. Those I wasn’t impressed with. I spent a lot of time turning them into black and white and adjusting the contrast and cropping them smaller, and altering Cael’s complexion a bit, however, now I just want a redo. Cael needed a haircut and so we should do that and then just take a new photo. The Einstein look is just not cutting it. It wasn’t his best hair day anyway, and after all I’ve put into these cards, I think good hair is important. Plus he needed to shave and we were in a hurry to get the shots before sundown, so he ran out into the back yard with his long wet hair, unshaven and with a wrinkled shirt. But who knows when a retake might command a place in our schedules. My only other option would be to muster enough skill to alter his hair in photoshop, but that would be beyond time and sanity’s budgetary propriety. Oh if only I could be freewheeling and uninspired so I didn’t feel the need to create and tweak. Life would be simpler. So either I send the card I have or I call for a do over. A decision will be made later today.

I have to give you a heads up on the cellophane situation too. I got through to the window fix-it people. They didn’t really care that my window was banging and clanking with the heavy winds we’ve been having. They won’t come until May 4th. I was concerned that I would be adding window replacement to crank replacement if the wind continued to smack my windows around like that. I called almost a week ago now. That’s a long wait. I guess emergencies don’t matter. The girl on the phone was unmoved by the tremble in my voice, I guess. Oh well. It took most of the week, but the winds have died down significantly. My awnings out back were rattling like crazy and it was a little freaky knowing I depend on those shutters for hurricane protection. But that’s another worry for later in the year when “The Season” begins.

You won’t believe this, but I am off to sign the papers for health insurance. Health insurance, I said! I know. Miracle upon miracle. Now you know I have bragging rights. You’d think, what else could possibly remain on my ever present to do list with so many accomplishments under my belt. Well, you’d be surprised. The never ending repair, replace, and purchase list is as strong and healthy as ever. It is perhaps growing too quickly. Can I just state for the record that having a senior in high school in the house is not for those with weak cash flow. Because high school seniors create weak cash flow, and if it is faltering to begin with, a mother would be positively destitute by graduation day. Add to that health insurance, washer, lawn mower, etc., etc. etc.

So I take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other and if need be, I crawl one hand and knee at a time to the next thing. But for now I’ll be off to stop at Home Depot and fork over some cash for the washer and get on the delivery waiting list. Timeliness would have helped as one always has to get in line for delivery. Delivery? You ask. Yes, delivery is included! That was the clincher. Clinchers are good for mamby pamby decision makers like me.

Off to deplete my income tax refund stash. It was nice while it graced the pages of my check register. Maybe I should take a picture of those numbers just to remember that for a fleeting moment, they decorated my account with richness. Simple pleasures, like extra digits on the total line. Gotta love that.

Post Script: Returned from my errands almost one thousand dollars poorer, but I got a $25 gift card from Home Depot for my purchase. Woo hoo! The day is mostly wasted and by the time I fill out my two rebate thingies, and make copies of my receipts, I'll have to go pick up Casey. So much for accomplishments. Spending that cash takes no time at all and yet my day is gone in a heartbeat along with my money. Ah well, nice that it was there in my time of need, right? And I think I'm gonna pass on the lawn mower purchase and keep borrowing my neighbor's for a while. But that decision is still up in the air.

My Own Heroics

Who’s the hero of the day? Me, me, me! And I think I need a vacation for my endeavor.

I finally did it? What, you say?

Did I de-cellophane the window and fix the cranks? No. Did I get the washer out to the road last night? Not exactly, but I did try. (Unfortunately the neighbors dolly didn’t have it’s tires pumped up enough and it couldn’t handle the weight.) Did I finish fertilizing the yard, did I use the weedeater on the walkways, did I wash or vacuum my filthy car? Of course not. Did I begin Cael and Bethany’s videos? Unh, uh. Did I make Cael’s graduation announcements? Hah!

What could I have done that was worthy of accolades? It was this: I went to the kitchen, opened the drawer, pulled out a screwdriver and I opened the bathtub drain and I finally degunked. I degunked! I degunked some more, and more and more, and I thought the hairy blob of scum and ick had snaked its way to China via my bathtub drain, and I nearly gagged. It was beyond description what came out of there. I wished I could have taken a photo of it just so you could feel my disgust, but the censors would have been all over that. They don’t allow images like that to be displayed over public networks. It was so gross, I don’t believe any surgeon has ever witnessed anything that rivaled what I pulled out of that drain. I shudder to think of it again. I am now going to drop it from my consciousness lest I have a new recurring bad dream like the witch who used to pop out of my dresser when I was little, or the tidal wave dreams. Those wouldn’t compare to the nightmare that would be the degunking dream.

But it is finished. For today anyway. With three girls and one guy who’s hair is almost the length of ours using that shower, there is enough long blond and brown hair to keep the drain clogged on into eternity. For now I rest on the hardy work of my hands and the stamina of my eyes and stomach this afternoon and my fortitude to carry it through despite the slimy disgusting wretch of whatever all that was that I just pulled out using a screwdriver. I didn’t know what else to use. I think I should throw it away now. It seems entirely contaminated. Casey finished off the job by plunging, just for an added sense of security; that little extra oomph to make the drain run clean. We believe in the finishing touches, you know. Next up, Casey gets to clean the tub. I bet she’s all a-flutter inside waiting to get to it. Hmmm, I wonder why she hasn’t started yet.

Well, that’s about the only thing I have to say right now. So, enjoy that which I have offered and have a day as carefree as a swiftly flowing bathtub drain. Ahh, what a feeling. If only the rest of you could but try to follow in my exemplary footsteps... [teeny-tiny snicker] If you have done anything even remotely so heroic yourself today, please, feel free to share. The hotline is open.

Neglected, Not Abandoned

This is not an abandoned blog, I repeat, not an abandoned blog... a little neglected, like so many aspects of my life are found to be from time to time, but not forgotten.

Spent my day as per my usual Sunday, going to church and then to the mall for lunch. I had intended to go and hear Tommy speak at a church in Jupiter but my air wouldn’t work in the car on the way and I was wearing long sleeves and pants and I just didn’t have it in me to get all in a sweat, so I stopped at the halfway point at my own church before I was completely drenched. How's that for devotion? Chris was speaking, and he’s second to Tommy in my book, so it wasn’t a total loss.

After a rushed lunch at the mall, there was a meeting for the Senior’s trip to Europe over at school. Is Cael ever gonna have a blast! And remember that whole scene with me laying in a heap on the bottom of the stairway to nowhere back a month or so ago (figuratively of course)? Well, come to find out today that in the end, the person I was trying to help was granted grace (and the cash needed) by his own parents and is going on the Europe trip after all. I was so excited!

I’ve also been to the grocery store and watched one home remodeling show. I have worked for one hour on the Jupiter Christian video; yesterday I worked on it for 10 hours. I have only to finish the open and close but this is always quite a challenge for me. Maybe I could finish tonight.

Oh and it was so hot at 5:30 when I came home from the grocery store that I immediately turned on the air. I wonder if the Santa Fe cold front could push its way over here for a little stint. A nice blanket of snow would do me good... for a day anyway.

Well, I have images to remix, so off I go.

Funny Girl Memories

After Friday's show.




This was the night I thought Cael's hair looked the best. He told me tonight that Snyder had done his hair that night. Not a bad stylist. I also accidentally took this photo with flash and was really embarrassed that it had gone off. After that everyone started snapping flash photos throughout the rest of the show. I felt responsible. No one had been doing it before in any of the shows. I should be ashamed. Wait, I am ashamed.

From Fallout to Celebration

All my best thoughts are laying by the wayside. I haven’t had time to write, what with going to the show every night and working all day, and stopping for something to eat and a change of clothes along the way. So my thoughts about how we are all “less” since Mary and Judy left us sister-less, mother-less, aunt-less, etc.; those thoughts have been cast aside while I do what is mine to do at the moment.

I had two brilliant thoughts the other day, one right after the other, but I don’t even have the faintest idea as to what they were. You can bet they were show stoppers. Lately I’ve had a number of those ideas, the kind that I mean to write down so that one day I can submit them somewhere, the kind that would make really good commercials. But I haven’t come to the place of pushing past the fatigue in the darkness to pry my eyes open, find a pen and write things down. So we may never know what brilliance lies dormant, lost to the darkness. I will have to be prepared for the day when I accidentally bump into those thoughts again on the street or in my sleep and get them down on paper quickly. I know I‘ll never be able to call the same stuff up on demand; it has to happen on it’s own. So I wait, and in the meantime, ta da.... you are left with word-less, brilliant-thought-less me.

I managed to get to the show for the fourth time last night. On Thursday, Catherine asked if I’d like to come Friday night, as she had an extra ticket. I jumped excitedly at the opportunity. I have enjoyed the show more each night and they adjusted the volume to compliment rather than distress the sound of the performer’s voices. Cael has adjusted his hair style each night, hitting a puffy plateau Thursday night (great for describing to people how to pick him out of the crowd) and then surprising us with a sleek and fashionable, practically wet look, last night. “Dashing” sums it up. I was able to get a photo of he and three of his best friends after the show. That made me happy. I would be happier with more photos, and Cally is hopefully going to take the camera tonight to get some more of the guys together in their beloved costumes with hats. We’ll see how that goes. I had to force the photo last night because they didn’t feel "ready." Two of the guys had on the “wrong” thing and wanted to wait until tonight. True performers. I didn’t have a ticket for tonight, so it was my only chance right then. I took charge and ordered their placement on the steps and they managed to live through it and smile too. They actually wanted the photo because they love their costumes and have enjoyed the show so much. (Jacquie, the dance instructor/director says they have a hard time getting Cael to change out of his costume, he wants to wear it all the time. This is how bonded he is with the look.) I took some video stealthily during the show on Thursday night and so I am satisfied that the grand experience hasn’t been lost forever. I want to be able to clutch it close and relive it from time to time, as my memory tends to fog the details into hazy generalities. That won’t do. I love the details in their crisp clarity. I have so much fog in my life that I enjoy something clear and concise now and then, esp. when it’s a view of my son imbued with participation and responsibility and shining on stage doing something he has discovered he loves. My dream.

Cael was saying last night that he feels like once he graduates his life is going to be over. He is having such a great time right now. I’m so glad he did the show, sticking with the rehearsals and all the hard parts. Plus there is so much yet to come for the seniors to pack into the next two months, what with two more shows today, the trip to Europe, Prom, Graduation, and some of them are going on a missions trip to Costa Rica. And then there’s a trip on somebody’s yacht in a couple of weeks and the girlfriends and all that bliss, plus the end of year stuff the seniors do. I am so glad Cael decided to embrace his senior year after the directional misguidance and emotional overhaul it began with. He chose well and is reaping the joy of good choices. And so of course, I am too. I think it’s only fair that if I have to live with the fallout during the harrowing times I should be allowed to celebrate his joy when it comes, and photograph and videotape it and stare in awe at it. But it’s also the kind of bliss, for Cael, with an expiration date attached. It will culminate in a sad parting, where all that’s bonded like super glue over the years gets ripped apart with the tossing of graduation caps. Ah, the sweet sorrow of life. Endings and beginnings, like Judy and Mary leaving. Our loss and their gain.

And so we will all learn lessons from our travels whether experiencing the other-world of high school or a seemingly alternate world on the road out West. For Judy and Mary and the seniors, it will be a “hands on” lesson. For us, what we learn from their road trips will be a virtual tour, that is, if the internet stays accessible and global and keeps us connected. So, yippee! There is something ahead and the mystery of it will entertain us if not rip us into tiny razor sharp shards of anxiety. So the seniors with their bittersweet endings and the uncertainties to follow, and us here, fumbling along while Mary and Judy teach us about long distance relationships, there is a world of fullness at our feet and in our hands and grabbing us by the heart. Best that we smile and cry while we can and enjoy the experience with our laughter and tears while we have them at our disposal, because the days do go by.

An Alternative to Combat

Screaming into a pillow, while it doesn’t top the charts as the hottest alternative to combat, does have merit. I’m past the urge to lash out at the moment, so I feel like I can rate this coping mechanism with some objectivity. I’m giving it an 8 or 9. It cuts through fury in a tidier way than either verbal or physical assault. I wouldn't condone either.

Nasty, Bratty & Undeserving

I had absolutely nothing to say only moments ago, but with three ring-a-ling-lings of the phone, all my senses are in an uproar and ready to spit wisdom and venom and various bits of my innermost being out all in one sitting.

But that would just be messy, bursting at the seams like that. Fools fall headlong into that trap and find themselves wishing later they could re-dam the river that ends up careening across small towns and washing away their future because they suddenly cut loose at the urge to say something they “felt strongly about.” No, I’ll hold back the caustic breath that would encompass my fiercely chosen words and walk on and whistle a tune to calm myself. I find it helps to reroute the churning emotion and allow it to become a turbine of productivity. Mostly, I just know that something in the no-good category will happen if I move my finger from in front of my lips where I’ve carefully placed it to shush myself.

What I should have done was cut loose on the one who made the phone ring in the first place rather than upon those who wander innocently by after. I wouldn’t really have cared so much if the verbal dam burst and flooded the caller’s little village. I might perhaps, have even smiled a creepy, one sided smile and walked away whistling a tune and meant it. Okay, that’s just mean. Strike that. I’m feeling a little bratty. No, my heart can just race and my temper can boil a few minutes until it settles, and then I’ll do what I can to make something of it all.

Like be off to church for the Good Friday service. Sounds positively hypocritical doesn’t it? Remember though that one's need for the cross is most glaring at ugly moments such as these. That’s what the cross is all about, God bartering for my life, puny and hypocritical and angry and ugly, yet redeemable, forgivable, lovable, changeable. I like that He knew who He was getting in the bargain, after all He made me, and yet He traded his life for mine anyway. Makes me feel like a favored child, sometimes nasty and bratty and undeserving, and yet the apple of His eye.

So that’s where I’ll be, in my dam-busting state, taking an hour to get myself and my mouth under control, because the words form first somewhere deep in the heart, a heart that He wants to stroke with the love that He gave His life to prove. That changes everything.

Reading Between The Scans

It was sometime after noon, but I didn’t pay much attention. The weather was playing games with the sun so that there was no guessing the actual hour by the intensity of the light. The lamp was on of necessity, the necessity of comfort or vision, I’m not sure which, maybe both, and it felt brighter inside than out so it could have easily been dusk outside, except for the fact that I knew better.

I was alone for the day, unbound by my usual drop off/pick up routine as it’s spring break and everyone was gone for the day. I was working, yet it was the mindless and repetitious sort that causes no stress, but which has been known to numb the senses. The work, the dark cozy weather and my situation transported me to an “otherworld” where the usual obligations that delineate space and time didn’t seem to apply. The occasional pattering of raindrops on rooftops added to the unconventional air the day had taken upon itself.

The new office chair’s excellent twirling capabilities helped pass the time while I waited for my work to process, over and again, but after an hour or more with hours yet to go, I got the hint that if this pattern was to be repeated nearly a hundred times, that would mean a very long day of endless twirling and/or trips to the kitchen. Never enough time to do anything more than grab some chips, and just enough to watch dust collect and find my mind dazed by the consistent sameness of my surroundings, same thoughts, eyes affixed to common objects hour after twirly hour, the hypnotizing hum of the scanner lulling me into something just outside of slumber.

The chair stopped spinning for a moment, and my eyes rolled around and landed like a roulette ball on the stack of books nearby. My eye caught “Stephen King on Writing”. The cover had always drawn me since the first time I picked it up and found it full of sweet & sour, colorful words inside. Even the spine of it, the little bit that was showing, was like spying a candy wrapper of the sort I fall victim to. It drew me in. I was reminded that there was something inside I hadn’t yet consumed, like the little lilt in my heart when I discover there is half a bag of sour skittles left that I’ve forgotten. It’s a book that sidles up and whispers of myself in some ways when I read it. I find that to my liking.

The scanning process was taking about 3 to 4 minutes each time, an abnormally long time to stare and wait usually. But that was of no consequence now; something was being poured out in snatches a page or two at a time, lighting up my thoughts and putting an end to my numbed consciousness. The longer the scan, I was finding, the more I could read.

So for the next 5 hours, I kicked my feet up and read between scans, twirling effortlessly back and forth to push buttons and change settings as needed and then twirling myself back to my reading glasses and my book full of “candy”, a sip of Coke now and then to accent the pleasure. Later I could be found leaning forward reading with face in hands, like a kid in a fort, living a make believe adventure while on holiday from life, as the rest of the world was off doing their chores. I had discovered how to do both at once and I liked the combination. I think it was as work should be. I didn’t begrudge myself the snatches of reading. It seemed prudent to fill the emptiness with something productive, and I felt rich with life at the same time. So I finally got the chance to do what I never seem to be able to find time for after my work is through.

This day would have been a keeper, except that you can’t keep a day. Too bad. I favor holding the good stuff close. But I can reuse my newfound time passage tool and pick up where I’ve left off. It’s like having a whole new world at my fingertips. All those books I’ve enjoyed but which I’ve never actually finished will be soon be consumed a page at a time. Soon they will be tucked neatly into the corners of my mind, decorating my thoughts and my outlook. How exciting. I so hope scans galore await my future.

My Guide to Power Outage

It’s universal. The first things you do when you come home knowing the power is out are:
Try to turn on a light.
Open the refrigerator and look at the darkness.
Wish you could turn on the a/c.
Long for something to eat or drink that requires the use of an electrical appliance, any appliance. (This longing quickly grows to an intense desire for all kinds of things you would normally not consume at this hour, but which begin to appeal to you in new ways now that you can’t have them.)

Then you go from room to room stricken anew by the realization that everything you think of doing requires electricity. Ah! Can’t work on the computer, nope to scanning, forget making something to eat, TV is out, the only music will come from the songs in my head, can’t wash clothes (oh, what am I saying, there is no washing machine anymore anyway.) Too dark to read in here. Too windy outside. Time to call FPL for the outage status.

I found out we were a PRIORITY, so much so that they quickly connected me directly to a person who gave me a complete and well-rehearsed apologetic speech about how sorry they were to inconvenience me. It was a pretty long speech. I think following last year’s hurricanes and the irate customers encountered, they’ve hired professional counselors to gently stroke the customers’ edgy nerves. It’s like a crisis hotline now. I wanted desperately to tell the lady about my recent obsessive compulsive behavior and other psychological insights, but mostly, that I had just bought two for $5 ice cream and that Cally had also brought home a third not knowing I had made my purchase and it was melting, so they’d better hurry. You’ll be happy to know I held my tongue, said thank you and hung up. I doubted she cared that I just been to the grocery store and I figure, she’d probably heard the same ice cream story from everyone who called. Who doesn’t buy into the deal when Publix has ice cream two for $5. It’s a given, that’s why they were working so hard. They knew there could be an ice cream melt down the likes of which hasn’t been seen since last fall. The power was out from 10:00 this morning until almost 7:00 tonight. It’s kind of interesting that when you call, they tell you how many people are affected so you don’t feel alone. It really is a great psychological ploy. My first thought with an outage is usually, “are we the only ones?” I always call to find out the status and get the estimated time for power to be restored. It’s the not knowing that kills me. If they give me a deadline, I feel better and they always beat their predicted time. Another mastermind plan. And I’m pretty much okay with it as long as my whole block is hurting with me. And knowing that 2, 344 other customers are standing at the fridge trying not to open the door too gives me even an extra measure of satisfaction.

My neighbor came over to see if I knew what was going on. She had just bought groceries in bulk from Costco to stock up for the next 6 weeks while she isn’t going to be working because of her schooling. She was very concerned about her ice cream too and really wanted to open the freezer just once to check it, but I talked her down from that ledge. She said she felt compelled. I warned her not to do it. If you open the door you lose valuable freeze power and the electricity had already been off a very long time. She decided to be strong and took off to meet some friends without the ability to blow dry her hair before she left and without knowing the condition of her ice cream. Who says women today aren’t strong? We both had “hurricane hair” already. Deja vous-vous. Ahh, there’s nothing quite like a power outage to bring the neighbors together. It was like a hurricane season practice drill.


Right after I got home and realized I couldn’t do ANYTHING, I had the desperate urge to escape to some place via car, some place with pre-made food, like I might never get to eat cooked food again or like the house was uninhabitable without electricity. So weird. I decided that was stupid, so I tried to think of things to do that didn’t need power.

I devised a list of things you can do without power and it really boiled down to hard labor. I chose a broom and a swiffer. The gunky drain which I never did yesterday also made the list of power outage entertainment. But sweeping and swiffer dusting the floor, and wet swiffering after that took almost two hours, along with moving sprinklers, and tackling a number of stubborn weeds that I got sidetracked by while I was outside. Oh yeah, add yard work to the list of things to do when the power is out, and it’s cooler out there, esp. if your window is still cellophane wrapped shut. I missed the opportunity to fix the windows this weekend while it was under 80 degrees, with just cause... you know, the washing machine malfunction, which will most like remain on the disabled list for some time. So just as I was putting away the swiffer thingy, and gearing up to degunk the tub drain, Cally began clapping wildly and I heard the armoire door squeak open and TV sounds began to blare. She didn’t miss a beat getting the TV on. It had been hours of pure power outage pain for her in her room not watching tv and sweating because she didn’t want to open the windows (I don’t know, go figure). I immediately released myself from my contract with myself to degunk the drain. It’s been a long hard prehurricane season afternoon and I had done enough hard labor for one day.

FPL just called (well their computer voice man that is, hmmm, where did the nice counselor lady go?) to tell me my power was now on and that the problem was that a tree or branch had damaged an FPL line. Well, now that the power has been back on for TWO HOURS, it’s a great relief to find that out. And good to know that it only took them 8 hours to remove a tree branch from the line.

It’s gonna be a long hurricane season. Good thing my floors are perpetually dirty and the drain will probably still be clogged by then. I’ll have plenty to keep me busy the next time the power goes out.

Have a Coke and a Smile

I’ve finished the second half of the photo album I’ve been working on for a client. It was of a rafting trip down the Colorado River. Beautiful stuff. I have only to pick up enlargements tomorrow and affix them and it will be completely complete. The next album awaits, for which many photos must be scanned. I think I’ll begin that later tonight.

After I finished my album work, I had a mad urge to scrape the hairspray blobs off of the mirrors in the bathroom. I get the eebies every time I walk in there and see the vastness of the hairspray coverage, but I never bother to do anything about it because it won’t wash off for anything. The task of scraping is one which should probably be done weekly or monthly, and yet I do it maybe yearly... maybe. It looks so horrible and yet taking a single edged razor to it is quite simple and extremely satisfying. Problem is, once you start scraping things with a single edged razor, it’s hard to draw the line on where to stop. This can be a good thing if it gets you to do something you might otherwise not have done, but for obsessives, it becomes borderline manic. Since the same hairspray travels to every vertical and horizontal plane in the bathroom, and half of every wall in the bathroom and the entire shower enclosure is covered in 5x5 shiny tiles (well, not so shiny layered with hairspray and grunge), the stopping point becomes nearly indistinguishable. It's the land of the eternal tile. But the afternoon sun shines a spotlight on the east wall, lighting up my obvious neglect and grossing me out. And so I come to you typing with crippled hands which are still pruney from wringing the dirty water out of the laundry on Friday and are now additionally maimed by the water and Scrubbing Bubbles with which I cleaned the tub. I’m feeling the effects of clutching a tiny razor and scraping for over an hour, always drawn one tile further, on into the shower where soap scum has created layers and layers of goop to entice me. “Eradicate the crud!” That became my motto.

I thought about how pleased everyone will be when they enter the bathroom next time. I dreamed of ooohs and ahhhs reverberating throughout the house, hitting my ears like a sweet song. Ah, but then again, that’s a joke. Noone complimented me on my new shower liner purchase last week and it so obviously reeked of that new poly-chor-a-hex-a-something smell like you couldn’t imagine. If the crispy clean look didn’t make them marvel, the smell certainly should have. The old liner had a layer or two of that orange moldy substance from whatever bacterial, viral whatever-it-is that makes water change form and become something scummy. Did I hear even one sweet sound of pleasure cooing from the lips of my children as they got into the shower after I replaced the grungy liner? Not even. I heard, “who keeps leaving hair in the drain?” and I heard, “who used all the soap!” and I heard, “Who keeps taking my shampoo?” I heard, “Mom, why do you keep taking my towel and washing it?” but not a single person admired the new curtain out loud and praised my deeds from under the spray of the shower. I mean this was monumental in terms of dramatic effect. These kids must be warped by the age in which they’ve grown up. I am certain of it. If they couldn’t make appropriate comments about something so entirely consequential, why would I even dream that even one of them would notice the clean tile? Well, I notice, and more than notice, I know it is eons cleaner and that is what counts. That is what will help me sleep soundly tonight, so soundly. Now, if I could get the rest of that little pit we call a bathroom fixed up, I believe I could fall into such a deep sleep over the pure joy of it that I’d never wake up.

So I worked and worked on these things that seem to me to be of some consequence and then it began to get dark and dreary out. To me, "dark and dreary" is perfect writing weather, esp at this time of day. It just feels right, and I feel justified after all my labor, what with the added weather bonus, sitting here typing and rambling. I have a Thai Chicken Pizza in the oven from California Pizza Kitchen, well from the Publix freezer section, but made by the California Pizza Kitchen Company. So I am going to go and enjoy the pizza as I enjoy the dark and dreary weather. And I have Coke too, and better yet, I bought ice this week at the grocery store. Store bought ice (giddy glee), now you know I’m living! It’s a luxury to be sure, but since I’m scraping acres of tile with a two inch single edged razor and doing laundry all over town and other things that feel heroic, I think I will enjoy the luxury of my ice and live it up. Cheers! I know, you’re thinking, Coke? Liz, don’t do it! I know. I know. But this is Thai Chicken Pizza, and it wouldn’t be the same without the Coke. It just wouldn’t, and I have no one around to go Coke-freaky on tonight. So, it’ll be ok, I promise. I'm going to have a Coke and a smile. I really think can do it.

As I sit here, the sweet smells of my childhood are coming through the cracks in the window. It’s a good thing, but perhaps a bad one too. Good, because I loved my childhood and still do. Bad because the smell means that probably a lot of particles and junk are also coming through the window along with a scent so strong I feel like I’m literally right there, right there in the midst of new house construction. My neighbor two houses away from my window is re-roofing. It smells exactly like new concrete block house construction... like plaster and concrete and drywall. They’re not building anything new, they are ripping off a concrete tile roof. It just reminds me of the smell of the new homes being built in our neighborhood as kids. Back then we wandered through the homes, picking up Coke bottles to turn in for nickels or dimes. (I always did love Coke. Back then, to me, it was the sign of wealth. It was true luxury to be able to have a Coke. I always thought that I’d know I was rich when I grew up if I could have Coke whenever I wanted it. So tonight anyway, I am rich.) Back then we wandered through the construction picking up the little cylindrical metal pieces that looked like nickels and pretended it was money. We toured the rooms in the houses, imagining what each would be. We sat in the new bathtubs and walked through as of yet, nonexistent walls between the studs and checked out the Port-O-Lets and laughed at the stench and made tunnels in the mounds of white building sand and played king of the hill and tons of other stuff during the late afternoons. What a great playground!

Well, I just heard thunder. I think what that means is that if I fold the laundry that I washed at Mom’s this morning and if I go and at least attempt to degunk the shower drain like I had on my list, then, and only then, I think I should be allowed to sit and read. Certainly one must read in order to write. So not only will it be my joy, but it will also be like a responsible action toward a future writing project or like doing homework or something.


Mmmm, this pizza and Coke hits the spot. I burned the edges of the pizza a tad (at least it smelled like it) and the inside isn’t exactly perfectly done, but nevertheless it’s still mostly warm and I am calling it good stuff. The Coke... well, there’s nothing like the first sip of fizz off the top of the first glass from a newly opened bottle of Coke, especially poured over fresh, store bought ice. The fizz caught my eye this time before I drank it. Usually I’m in such a hurry to slurp it up before it fizzles out (because that’s the best part) that I don’t really look at it. But I was amazed at the bubbles. I’m thinking it was every bit as enticing as they make it appear in advertising. That’s just my opinion. But take a good look next time and see if you don’t agree.

You know, I really don’t feel much like cleaning the goopy, hairy crud out of the drain now. I just don’t. I never will. Do you suppose that it would still be okay for me to read even if I don’t predicate it with this disgusting chore? And if I don’t start scanning all those photos tonight, would I be considered a sluggard? It feels wrong not to do everything and then some more on top of it (as you may have guessed I am the obsessive type for whom simple chores become manic events.) Maybe if the roofers didn’t work so late I wouldn’t feel like such a lug for calling it quits. It ‘s 6:15 pm and getting dark and they are still banging things and yelling in spanish and stirring up the smell of concrete so that I imagine everything is probably covered in a layer of fine dust about now. Their work seems so productive.

The pizza and coke are gone, there is work that has been left undone here in my world, and reading and ice crunching lie ahead. Maybe a scan or two will be thrown in to ease my conscience. Can’t say for sure. But the drain gunk? I don’t think so. Another day, another grungy bathroom chore. I don’t want to burn my obsession at both ends. Better save some for tomorrow.

Wringing Out The Clothes, Wringing My Hands

I watched mary’s copy of The Gleaners and I today. I was going to watch while I worked on the project I have, but it’s enough of a discipline to watch a movie and work at the same time. Add subtitles to the effort and forget it. So, of course, I let the work go and watched the movie. After I picked casey up from school, we found ourselves gleaning. We sometimes have to glean small change from the car in order to pay for fast food. When we came up short of enough gleaned change for pizza for both of us at Costco, we went to the ATM instead and took money out that we shouldn’t have. I knew the line at Costco would be long and didn’t want to be like a little kid counting out her pennies while everyone waited. Had we gone to a drive thru with a dollar menu, we’d have been fine. But we had to go to Costco, so we thought it best to just eat there. But just so you know, once, about two weeks ago, we were able to feed three of us at Wendy's from the dollar menu off of car-gleaned change. We were really excited, like we won the lottery or something. Turns out today was a good free sample day at Costco. We had buffalo chicken, jelly bellys, fruit, and had we been so inclined, they also had soy milk, ravioli, lox and something else I didn’t want. We gleaned a moderate share and moved on. You could net, on a good day, enough samples to skip lunch. Today we didn’t, we wasted money on pizza.

We had to go to Costco because right before I left to pick up Casey, I went to transfer the laundry to the dryer only to find that the washer had spun its last. The washer was seriously afflicted. It would sort of spin but the water wouldn’t pump out. It sounded like it was about to go into convulsions. I have a certain patience when it comes to these things, I mean my rigging track record is superb, but there are four people here and plenty of dirty clothes, all the time. This is one of those things that will unfortunately have to be dealt with. Here goes another Visa purchase.

So we went looking at Costco to get an idea of prices. Wow! the only one they had that wasn’t super-size was $420. So much for ever getting anywhere in life. The whole thing began to get to me.

We got home, and I went outside to throw something away after wringing and wringing and wringing an excessive number of big towels and jeans, etc. By this time I was beyond my initial “I can handle this, and I can just do laundry elsewhere til I can find a cheap machine” attitude, and I had begun an inner dialog that sounded a lot like grumbling. I was quickly working myself into a really good aggravation and a sufficient “woe is me” when I looked up and there coming down the street, across the intersection in his motorized chair, was of all things, the man with no legs. Well, you could say my inner grumbling got a hand slapped across its mouth rather quickly. How can I complain about the 15 or 20 gallons of dirty water I have to bail out of the washer and the money I will have to borrow, and the inconvenience, blah, blah, blah, when a man is riding around the neighborhood with no legs.

I expect you may see me on a documentary soon, gleaning wash cycles from the homes of everyone I know until such a time as I can find the deal of a lifetime or someone ditching a perfectly functional washer just because they want one of those new front loading 50’s style washers available now in an array of colors. There is plenty of excess here in Palm Beach County. No doubt there is a washer graveyard full of young appliances sent to their demise before their time. I doubt I will go driving around looking for them by the side of the road because, well, you know the trouble Casey and I had just trying to get the lattice in the car, but I’ll keep myself open to possibilities. Getting an old appliance out of the house to the road and a new one in is a pretty big chore in and of itself. And think about how gross it's gonna be behind the washer when I pull it out. Plus, you have to time these things carefully and take the old one out on Wednesday night so the guys will take it on Thursday. It’s Friday today. It’s not that easy to to remember to do it at the right time for some reason. Plus, it’s not a simple task to pull a washer up a step, down two, across a yard full of grass to the road. I think I’m complaining again. “Don’t forget the man in the chair, Liz... the man in the chair.” That’ll shut me up for a while.

Okay, I’m going to find some lotion or something. My hands are all pruney from the wringing and the blue water I had to bail for the last hour or so. But I’m not complaining. They are still connected to my arms and quite functional, and I’m really rather happy about that.

Looking for greener grass

I have got to get a digital camera! There are just too many things to photograph in a day that I miss because I don’t have my big 35 mm with me, and rarer still is a day when I have film in it anyway.

And does everybody see as much odd stuff as I do, or am I just usually in the right place at the right time? I took Casey to school a few minutes ago and on my way back to get to work, this guy who looked like he was in his forties was crossing the road in front of me on this crazy bike. Well, it looked like a humongous tricycle, like freakishly circus sized (maybe the guy was formerly a clown) but it was actually a two wheeled bicycle. It looked like a tricycle from the side because the front wheel seemed as tall as a mini van and the back wheel was teeny tiny in comparison. And it seemed even funnier because I was turning right and he was crossing the road I was turning onto, so he was hurrying to get across, thinking I might hit him I guess (which I assure you I would not have done). How could I hit a grown man on a huge tricycle thing? And I couldn’t help but see him; he was peddling with all his might to beat me out and it was hilarious, his feet going round and round at cartoon hyper speed in these tiny circles. I could have had an accident because I was craning my neck around as I drove on, looking backward trying to figure out how the thing worked, with only that little wheel in the back, and it was really skinny like an old time bicycle. I just drove on and wondered, “Where did he get that thing?” and “Why would a grown man ride that thing down a busy street?” But then, I’m sure people wonder about me sometimes too, so I’ll just enjoy the oddity of the show and keep my eyes open for what else might be out there today.

On another note, I thought you might like to get a report on how my fertilizer (weed and feed) worked. If not, I feel compelled to tell you anyway, because maybe you will know what the big problem is or maybe it will save you the trouble of fertilizing your own yard to no avail, especially if your spreader wheel is so hard to turn that while trying to push the thing, you become the neighborhood spectacle. I think they might hold a block party next time I fertilize and get their lawn chairs and coolers out and make an event of it. But then maybe I could just fertilize under the cover of darkness in the future and save myself the embarrassment.

So here’s the deal, my yard hardly looks any different after nearly a week. I watered after I fertilized and then we had two days of rain. What’s that all about? I expected a lush, green lawn with all the weeds shriveled up and keeling over as if they had been poisoned. Nope. The weeds seem hardy, happy and even sort of shiny like I applied conditioner instead of weed killer, and the sort of wimpy brown areas don’t seem to have perked up in the least. That wasn’t what I gave my sweat, money and dignity for. And I don’t want to tell you the brand I used because I hate to knock a product. I’ll just say, it wasn’t the cheap stuff. I only did the front and side yards and a little of the back so I could see if there was a difference, and as much as I want to, I don’t see marked improvement yet. Maybe I should quit going out and checking so often. Maybe I should put some more weed and feed down. If a little is good, a lot is better? Nah, that never works, or does it? I’ll give it til tomorrow and do another close up inspection. Maybe it needs today’s sunshine to kick in and give it that final punch toward growth. I just really wanted it to look like my neighbor’s yard on the corner near us. Theirs is always full and lush. And it’s always greener. Of course.

Lastly, via email, “after careful consideration” by the editor, rejection number two came yesterday. (a mini “told you so”). A very nice one if that makes a difference. They were kind enough to encourage me to submit again. But why? So I can be rejected over and over and over? Whatever. Apparently my stories don’t seem to meet anyone’s current editorial needs. I’m still mulling over what that means exactly. I think it just means, “you don’t fit in.” I’ve read other stuff in these publications and I think I’m sending the type of thing they might print, but then who knows where I cross the line. I have two more submissions out there hanging in the balance. We’ll see what kind of “editorial needs” these other two publications have and whether I can squeeze into somebody’s mold somewhere one day.

And it’s another blessed half day at Casey’s school today. So now that I’ve blogged, it’s practically time to go back and pick her up. It’s a good thing I’m “working” from home today. Well, if you call what I’m doing working. I guess it appears more like goofing off. But good thing I don’t have to be anywhere or this half day would be a big problem. Thing is I do need to make some money, so I should be self-regulating my time a little better and get working on the project at hand so I can make a deposit next week instead of a credit withdrawl. Yeah, I’m brilliant aren’t I?